Yes, dear readers, it's hard to believe, perhaps even harder to believe than a sick note from Schabir Shaik's GP. But it's true. All good things must come to an end, and Hayibo.com is no different.

 

Today's newsletter is the final dollop of icky current affairs we'll be sending you, all the news that's unfit to print scraped off the gutter and smeared on your screens one last time, and Friday will be our final update. 

 

We would have loved to rule the internet until Jesus returned, perhaps to witness the power-sharing deal the ANC will desperately try to broker, but alas the lifeblood of all websites, advertising, has never materialised. If we had a buck for everyone in Corporate South Africa who said, “I adore the site, I just don't want to associate my brand with it,” we could have retired. But we kind of understand: the people who are trying to convince us that you need to buy their soap to wash your dirty soap are clearly in the satire business too, so perhaps they see us competition.

 

All of which means we now need to go and do fun stuff like find paying jobs. And eating. Speaking of which, if you'd like to help us eat, why not vist our shop for old time's sake? We'll be leaving it open for a week or two so you can get your Christmas shopping done and save our families: at the moment it looks like they'll be getting Hayibo T-shirts and hoodies for every birthday and Christmas until 2035. Remember, you can have any Hayibo T couriered to you for R190, all inclusive.

 

But now, for one last time, let's do what we always did best: breaking the news – and our hearts – into lots of little pieces.